This is just for kitties. Hue-mans are not to read this!
Kitties, I have some words of wisdom for you!
Here are some catly rules that you should never ever break:
When walking: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the hue-man, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their co-ordination skills.
Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand looking sad at the hue-mans. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.
Always sleep on the hue-man at night ,so he/she cannot move around. Even better- lie on his or hers face, making sure your arse is right on their nose. When she is wearing an expensive silk nightie, don´t forget to paw it. This will create lovely patterns!
good luck kitties, and don't forget: